Goodbye Friend

Dear Lewis,

I am not even sure why I’m writing this. Maybe to write off my feelings, maybe to let the world know how I feel and maybe many people feel, maybe to say goodbye. It doesn’t really matter why, right now I’m just doing it because I feel like it.

It’s been just over three years we’ve virtually met. That you joined our online community and quite quickly you made your mark. You became a presence known for having a laugh, being a fierce competitor and for being helpful. Always there if we needed input, help with anything, whether it be doing commentary on a race, hosting a session or being present to help out the fifa team to fill its line up. 

Especially the last 2+ years we had a lot of contact. From daily chats on discord to being in a party together. We could talk about football, NFL, F1, other sports, gaming, work, life, anything really. Mostly laughter and sometimes crying, most of laughter though. And having banter between us and the rest of the group. You were a master of that. Trying to make fun of Man United’s embarrassing performances, Arsenal’s laughable fans, Mikey’s Power shots, or just trying to get the other to nibble. We all did pretty well in that, but you probably were the best at it. Your loud laugh is encrypted forever in my brain. The best parts were probably where for the 8th time you let everyone know that you and I quote “hate this fucking game” and we could hear you wanting to throw the controller through a screen or whatever with just few moments later to score an absolute screamer of a goal to all let us know very calmly “you fucking love this game”. It’s just one of many, many anecdotes I could tell, and I could probably go on for hours with by this blog, but the point is made.

Gaming for us wasn’t about racing F1, or playing a football game, it was about having fun, being away from less fun stuff or just to relax. But when on and doing something competitive you did everything you could to win, or if you couldn’t you’d try helping a friend to win. As a teammate in F1 of you for the last 4 seasons we won the team championship every single time. We managed to do that because you’re the team mate you want to have. You won quite a few races, or reached a podium, but far from always because you were the quickest, but because we came up with the right strategy and choices and would without even questioning sacrificed our own result if it would help the other. It didn’t even have to be discussed, whoever was higher up in the standings or had a much better chance in the race would be supported. The biggest example is probably a race in Qatar from a few seasons ago where you had spun many times, had clearly let know how ‘great’ the game was, got lapped and when I was on for a podium but ran out of fuel you let yourself drop back even more and pushed my car over the finish line to still secure the podium. It’s another one of those examples of camaraderie we had.

Apart from being friends online, we had many other plans. We would go to Madrid this year to watch an NFL game, we planned on going to go golfing with Mike and several other things. 

And now big fellow, you are no longer here. The news came as a big shock earlier this week and it’s still hard to understand why you had to go already. So young and full of life and ambitions you leave behind your wife and kids. We will all miss you deeply but it’s heartbreaking knowing they will have to be without you from now on. 

When we were online I asked you a few times how you did this, you know being online many nights a week while having a wife and kids. And you were very clear about it. You’d answer me that some men like to go out to a pub or have other hobbies that will take them from home and you simply wanted to have your game of golf in the weekends and visit your beloved West Ham and when at home you just wanted to relax and play your games and chill. But he would also add that he could only do that because he had the best wife in the world that let him be how he wanted to be and gave him the space for that but that his wife and kids would always have his priority. So Rachel if you may ever read this, please know that this is how he thought about you.

It’s not just them you leave behind, but also your buddy and best friend Brian. Your former colleague who turned in your best friend who you always turned to for some fun or a chat. He’ll miss you in ways you can hardly imagine. 

Anyway my big friendly giant. I want to thank you for all the fun, laughter and time together. For the cries, the yelling, the many hilarious moments we shared. For being there when I could use someone to talk to. 

I will miss you like many others will do too. 

Someday, somewhere, probably up there,  I’ll hope to see you again, and when we do I’ll first start to tickle you about West Ham’s latest relegation or that the last ever game visited was a Spurs game of all. You get the idea, but then I’ll give you a big hug and we’ll eat some fried chicken together and watch some sports, laugh, yell and say how much we fucking hate this game.

Much love Bog.